Success in a relationship can be accomplished.

Recently I was asked, “ How do you make a relationship or marriage work?” The answer is not as complicated as you might think.

The most simple answer, have rules and compromise. The rules, based on common sense shared by all may vary for each relationship. Some that work for my husband and our family are:

• Always be respectful, especially when angry. Disrespect breeds contempt and resentment.

• Don’t go to bed angry, agree to disagree – your physical health will be less affected when you are calm. Any decisions made in anger are poor ones.

• If sharing bank accounts, Never, make large purchases without your partners consent. • When major decisions are made and finalized, always back your partner even if you disagree.

• “Go ask your mother/father” should always be met with ”what did your mother/father say.”

• Education is important for EVERY household member. Those who know help those learning or needing help applies to daily life as well as schooling.

• Everyone living in the household contributes to the household.

• At least one meal a day must be shared as a family, where the days’ problems and successes are discussed.

• Live a life based in faith, remembering only God is perfect or know all.

• Always help someone else if you can. • Every day ends with the words “I love you.”

For our household these are the basics upon which we function. They are not set in stone, may not apply to every household, and may change at any time.

If you think life is treating you badly, "There is ALWAYS someone worse off than you."

You are not alone unless you choose to be. Have faith, ask questions, cherish existing family and friends. Know you are strong enough to handle anything that comes your way. You are strong - wisdom comes with experience. Make faith your foundation, love your strength, trust your guide, bind with passion and patience - You will survive and with grace.

Disowned because of misunderstanding, estranged from immediate family. Dad, Mom and sister now dead while my brothers think me insane and a lier as we remember differently. Still not speaking to me, my door will always be open to my brothers and their children.

If you think life is treating you badly, "There is ALWAYS someone worse off than you."

I know of what I speak. Our household is rather unique. A mixed race couple, disabled mom with five children, all born prematurely at the end of my first trimester, none expected to live. We had already survived the miscarriage of a boy, and were elated when we had a little girl born live, but she began crying constantly and inconsolably. After several tests they found she could not breathe if she were asleep. Despite all efforts to help her, Meagan died when only 4 1/2 month old. No time to dwell miscarriages overtime of two sets of twins, and a set of triplets.

Estranged from my family by misunderstanding, support came from my husband and his family, but my relationship with them had to be earned. Slowly this was accomplished. Over the years, we were blessed with five more children, of those five, three developed Cerebral Palsy which resulted in two of the boys permanently in wheelchairs.

Enough, time for school. Daddy is in med school and working. Mommy stayed at home to take care of the kids - 0-3 programs, then kinder-garden, then after third son - night school. All while working on marriage, the parenting of five kids and a dog, all in a two bedroom basement apartment. Traveling daily to four different schools, then taking someone to work and back.

Every little thing became therapy. Sitting, standing, toileting, holding things, moving things, feeding, sleeping any activity of the day became something to overcome. If someone was able to do something you helped someone who could not. Older kids helped the younger. Those could move would help those who could not. Everyone learned to work braces, wheelchairs, positioners and feeding aids. The neighborhood was a good area but turned into a daily ok coral by the time we moved. Shootings and gang fights became common, so we moved. Today all have become young adults of whom we are very proud. Everyone lives at home, in our home. Darrell, Daniel and Marinna help care for their brothers and at times, me.

8)We found something we just had to share.

As parents, medical professionals and authors, reading is incorporated in every activity throughout our day. Dyslexia is a condition which causes some people to have difficulty reading because the letters and numbers on a page reposition themselves either inverted (up side down), or out of order. My husband, Dr Troupe, found a font called Open Dyslexic which is free to download:) at http://www.opendyslexic.com that makes it easier for someone with that condition to read. The bottom weighted font helps to orientate the letters and prevent them from flipping. This also seems to help keep the words from jumping lines as I read which increases my reading speed and comprehension.

This is graduation season and we would like to extend our congratulations to every graduate.

A thought for the future.

If you look at others from the point of view of a parent, we want you to do better than we are doing or have done.

Remember strength comes in many forms and that we grow the most when we are at our weakest, either physically or emotionally.  Allow yourself to learn from the experiences of others, thay may have and option you did not consider.

Learn to like, love and most importantly respect yourself.  Life has a way of finding interesting challenges to plans for a future way of living.  That said, there is always a way to become successful.  Make the best of every situation.  Be flexible, always have more than one plan to attain your goals.  But most of all BELIEVE that you will succeed.  If you do your best, the efforts you have taken will be enough.

Take pride in your work and in turn others will be proud of you.

If stress is too much, turn off the electronics, go to the forest preserve and enjoy the view, sounds & smells.

As a parent and educated woman I want my children to become educated. Not to work for someone else, rather to learn how to learn. To know how to learn lends to opportunity. That education may come by traditional collegiate, vocational apprenticeship, or self study. The point is find something you are interested in and learn something new everyday. Then take the world by the horns, work for yourself, and teach someone else to reach their goals as well.

Wrinkles formed upon the flesh of each robber. “What’s happening?” They simultaneously cried. Horrified, throwing his fingers before his face, the first man saw his fingers wrinkle, and shrivel, his young face now that of an old man. His fingers reduced to dust, along with his arms, body, and legs. Now a white statue of loosely bound flakes, he collapsed and blew away in a light wind, along with the bodies of his two allies suffering the same fate. Seeing the highwaymen’s tragic end horrified Peter not as he had expected. Calm, he felt his rage vindicated, and their punishment justified. Shaking his head, he took a deep peaceful breath. Maybe it was as Laura posited in his dream. Perhaps, he was changing. Raising his eyebrows, Peter tucked his bottom lip. Clicking his tongue, Peter nudged his heels into the horse’s flanks. He rode away.

One of the most powerful tools known to mankind is optimism. What does optimism do for us? Optimism allows us to hope, to create alternative plans of action. Optimism allows us to dream giving us the drive to venture into the future without knowing where it will lead. Optimism allows us to be strong in our convictions, action leads to result. Optimism is power.  Practice it daily.

EVERY SERVICEMAN IS A HERO

This is absolutely ridiculious.

How dare our government pay $ 1500 for a screw, but we can not honor the sacrifices of those who protect our country and our freedom.  Every service performed by our servicemen and women is priceless. They are the reason, as of yet, we are not a communist country.

How sad, our government is considering eliminating "military funerals" for those service men and women not considered "heroes."

I can not say it often enough or loud enough, "EVERY SERVICEMAN IS A HERO."

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